Psychotherapeutic Psychobabble and Phedre's Self-Desruction

Lessons on Trauma, Feelings, Denial and Suppression from Ted Hughes's Phedre

Phedre is crazy. She is the epitome of denial. She tries so hard to hide her love she destroys herself. This would be tragic if she didn’t destroy everything she came into contact with in the process. That makes this a piss-off instead of a tragedy. She isn’t the only one in denial.

Theramene calls out Hippolytus at the beginning of the play : “In your eye there’s a new kind of fire – secretive, heavy, like an ailment. You try to hide it. But it is killing you. There is no hiding it. You are in love.” (9) Being in love should be a good thing. But it never seems to be. This particular kind is going to kill Hippolytus. But is it the love that will do him in or is it what he does with that love? Suppressing your feelings is never a good idea. Phedre shows us an exceptional example of this.

“Where am I? What am I saying? Where did those words come from? My mind is strange” (11). This is Phedre displaying what we currently refer to as dissociative symptoms. Dissociation is a natural phenomenon, it is a survival technique meant to be used in degrees. Sometimes our dissociative abilities work against us though. Anytime you find yourself asking this quote it is probably best you get help. This used to be called Multiple Personality Disorder. Now it is Dissociative Identity Disorder. A fragmented self is never healthy.

“I can’t hide it – everybody stares into my shame and its secret” (11), this is what guilt does to a person. Phedre is so overwrought with guilt she thinks everyone can see her shameful deed. This is like Lady Macbeth’s hands, or the heartbeats through the floorboards in an Edgar Allan Poe story. Phedre, wake up!, you’re doing this to yourself.

Oenone, who I do not think too highly of, states one of the best pieces of advice anyone can offer someone who is not expressing their emotions; She says to Phedre that “If you have to weep – then weep for the way you are stifling what you suffer which makes it all the more violent” (11). Phedre really should just let all this out. It is not doing her any good to keep it locked up. It is also not staying locked up very well either. Anyone who has worked with, been around, or experienced PTSD will understand how true this is. Our adaptations, our 'solutions' to the trauma, typically make the trauma more violent and harder to move through.

In seven words Phedre describes a lot of what we see in trauma. She describes our survival strategies gone awry. She describes the self-betrayal involved in trauma survivors. She does all of this when she says “I turned against myself – to defend myself” (17). It is as simple as that. Our basic drive to stay alive makes us our own enemy in an attempt to protect us. This is a natural occurrence. This is nothing to be ashamed of. But Phedre shows us that knowledge and awareness are not enough to get better. This is an opportunity to confess and suffer the real consequences, as opposed to imagined ones. But she doesn’t do that. Otherwise the play might be over and it might suck.

A lot of emos, drama queens, and trauma survivors often think that life is too much. In some circumstances, who can blame them? But what leads up to the conclusion that life is not worth living anymore? That’s what I look at. Anytime someone says something similar to Phedre saying “Let me die. My one escape from all this is annihilation. Is it so dreadful to be nothing? Despair can find death friendly” (48) I am instantly suspicious. I wonder what kind of hell this person has made for themself that they think this. The normal human brain is survival based. Some people reach this conclusion with really bad reasoning. A lot of times people are too afraid to turn around and face their emotions or feelings. They are so used to running that they have made themselves terrified of feeling their feelings. So they decide it is better to die. Well, I’m sorry, we don’t have time for therapy sessions but I do know that I have not seen people die from feeling their feelings. They actually die from trying to avoid those feelings. What’s the worst that can happen? We feel sad. Immensely sad. And then eventually we don’t anymore. It doesn’t just happen once. It can happen many times. But guess what? You don’t die from it. Does Phedre do the right thing though? Does she make it easier on herself and others? Of course not.

Oenone says some fantastically poetic bullshit, among them is this jewel: “I too have to smother a conscience. I would rather confront death a thousand times, then perform this” (49). I’m going to go ahead and call her out on this. Why not just die then? Oh, because you’re full of shit. When you’re making these decisions your conscience is already dirtied and used to dirty acts. I’m sure your conscience adapted slightly to being an asshole Oenone. But I do love this line. How often do we smother our consciences knowingly? I bet it is more often than we would like to confess, I mean admit, I mean share.

Theseus says what most people wish after a traumatic event, he says “If only the results of her evil could die with her” (88). The best thing about this line is that it is one of the most painfully true observations of a negative event ever. Ignoring the fact that Theseus was a moron who blamed Phedre even though it was Theseus’s prayer the Gods answered, let us imagine this play is entirely about Phedre’s evil. All the bad things that happen in the play come from Phedre somehow. When she dies she dies. That is all. Everyone alive has to live on in the aftermath. All the suffering from concentration camps didn’t magically stop when Hitler died. But that sure would have been nice. So when a traumatic event is over this can be the beginning for the survivors. When the Twin Towers finished falling did the trauma end? Or did the beginning stage end?

I’m not arguing that Phedre run off with Hippolytus. The least she could do is openly admit her feelings. I’m certain she would have had better consequences than what she ended up with. And who knows, maybe other people would not have been hurt in the process. But hey, it is nothing but psychobabble nonsense, we should just keep doing what Phedre was doing…what’s the worst that could happen?

Oh, and also, I do think this is a tragedy, for the record. However Phedre was behaving she was doing what she learned to do in life. Who can fault her for that?