Ah Cruel, Cruel, Cruelty of Myself

Rumi Fragment:

“Let me forget the war and cruelty inside myself” (26) 

This is my favourite line in all of Rumi. This lines speaks right to the center of my being. It feels right. It feels good. I feel I must tell myself this. 

I like to go over this line quietly. I like to do so numerous times. I like to let my eyes caress it, my tongue speak and taste it slowly and emphatically, I like to let my ears hear it, and most importantly I like to feel this line from the core of my existence. 

Who doesn’t have some form of inner war and cruelty, some regret or shame or confusion, who doesn’t need to hear that it is OK to let yourself forget that in order to be? I love this line.

There is the separation of Pain and Suffering. Pain is the shit that happens. Suffering is what comes after, what we do with it, how we interpret it and let it take over. When shit happens we need to be emotionally aware and mature enough to deal with it. Otherwise, the war and cruelty inside continue. The suffering continues.

We need some sort of peace agreement with ourselves. There is a lot of this going on everywhere for everyone. Most people aren't even aware of it. It doesn't have to happen only on large scales. Some people are probably offended by the idea, offended that I would imply they have an inner war that drives them.

But we do a lot of things that aren't good for us. We do theses on a daily basis sometimes. I think that these potentially harmful events are caused by this inner war and cruelty. Consider it my strange attachment to a strong belief in psychotherapy. Consider it me projecting my existential angst on the world, imposing it on the world.

But I suspect I am right. And Rumi will back me up. Try it, just once, try letting yourself forget the war and cruelty inside yourself. There is enough War and Cruelty around without us having to make ourselves suffer more, without having to make ourselves the battlefield. The world is too beautiful to let these dark seeds take root and grow fruitful, for their fruits are the dark, decayed, rotten fruits of death and destruction.

I ask again, beg even: let yourself forget the war and cruelty inside yourself.