Feelings Never Killed Anyone

On Blaming the Victim (afterthoughts on A Short Account of the Destruction of the Indies):

It is remarkably easy to do this. We are good at it. We have perfected it. We look down at the victim, before us, and instead of reaching down our hand we retract it with disgust. We need to distance ourselves from our feelings.

Growing up we are told what to feel and what not to feel. We are further told when to feel these things. We are made to feel guilty and shameful when we have ‘negative’ feelings. This breeds actual negative feelings, harmful feelings. 

Growing up we are not taught how to deal with certain situations. We are not taught what powerlessness is. We are not taught how to deal with it. What we are taught is to avoid it. We aren’t even taught how to avoid it. We are taught simply to avoid it.

We are taught to avoid anger. We are taught to avoid sadness. We aren’t even given permission to feel the feelings we have instinctually. We spend our existences avoiding our feelings. We cause lots of trouble doing this. The question is: how hard is it to actually feel those feelings? And, what harm could it do? Why do we do this?

Because it is uncomfortable. And we don’t like being uncomfortable. We probably don’t like it because we have been told not to. If we take each experience as it is and go with it will it actually harm us? I’m not arguing that we wallow in depression when we feel sad. I’m not arguing that we rage and hulk-out when we get angry. I’m not even arguing that we dance and sing and laugh when we feel the slightest bit of happiness. I’m arguing that we feel what we feel. That’s a good starting point.

Back to the victim, we are uncomfortable with the scene. The easiest way out is to point your finger at the victim and find fault in them. Why didn’t the victims of the Spanish domination fight back?

Because they didn’t see it coming. Because they weren’t expecting it. They would not have brought parties and food to their own deaths if they knew they would be tortured so brutally. They were woefully equipped for such a battle anyway.

A legion of armored mercenaries lands on shore. People bring them presents. Those present bearing people are slaughtered wholesale. For gold. The end. Who’s fault is it? The present bearing people of course

Any other course of thought would require, well, um, effort, compassion, humanity, understanding. And other such nonsense. And who wants those when you can find an easy way out?