How We Purposely Set Our Kids Up For Failure
In Civilization and its Discontents Freud makes a few handfuls of good points. This post is specifically on one of his footnotes. The note is from Chapter 8. It is as follows:
" 'Thus conscience doth make cowards of us all..' That a modern upbringing conceals from the young person the role that sexuality will play in his life is not the only criticism that must be levelled against it. Another of its sins is that it does not prepare him for the aggression of which he is destined to be the object. To send the young out into life with such a false psychological orientation is like equipping people who are setting out on a polar expedition with summer clothes and maps of the North Italian lakes. This reveals a certain misuse of ethical demands. The severity of these would do little harm if the educators said, 'This is how people ought to be if they are to be happy and make others happy, but one must reckon with their not being like this.' Instead, the young person is led to believe that everyone else complies with these ethical precepts and is therefore virtuous. This is the basis of the requirement that he too should become virtuous."
This is what is called: truth.
I touched on how we prepare our children for the role of sex on a previous post. If you haven't read it go and find it, if you don't care to then don't worry, just know this: We do not do very well at all.
Aggression is a huge deal in life. We have many different types of aggression. If we tell our children that the world is a wonderful place then we are setting them up for huge failures in life. And, as they have gotten their dreams smashed to pieces and enter into the oh-so fun life of the disillusioned, they will blame themselves. They will see themselves as failures. Why? Because the world is wonderful and they must have screwed it up. This will eventually turn to the world being at fault and aggression rises to the surface like a beach-ball held under water.
People shy away from the important stuff. Parents shy away from the important stuff. Parents may not want to talk about it, may feel uncomfortable talking about it, may feel they would be corrupting the children by bringing it up. Well, newsflash, you do not have superpowers, you cannot will that shit into being. Sorry. Also, maybe you shouldn't be a parent if you are lacking the maturity to discuss important topics pertaining to your child's well-being. But hey, hurt them all you want they're you kids.
Educating children on sex has never, to my knowledge, necessarily led to a pandemic of sexual deviance. It appears, if I may be so bold, as though the greatest level of sexual deviance and acting-out actually came shortly after we all started being uncomfortable talking about it...
Teaching kids about what aggression is and how one will face it and how to respond to it is actually just preparing them for one reality of life. Not training them for widespread warfare.
Adults: grow up. You aren't doing anyone any good. Sure, you tuck yourself in at night thinking wonderful things about yourself but the comedy, well, tragedy, of it all is that your children are acting out sexually and violently, overtly or subtly, but remember this: you can just pretend Freud was whack-job, it saves you the time of reading him, understanding him, and realizing how right he is, and most importantly, how he is on your side. His fight for better living includes you so maybe, just once at least, stop excluding him.
Stop sending your kids out into the wilderness with their 'false psychological orientations'. If their compass is broken how can you expect them to go in the right direction? Perhaps I am jumping ahead, stop going out into the world yourself with your false psychological orientations. The reality isn't as bad as you fear, your fear only makes it so.
Fix yourself first.
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